Panto Lines

Comment of the day comes from Donovan Christian-Cary's biography, which appears in the Princes Hall's programme for Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs:

"His ambitions include world domination and to be as thin as a piece of liquorice."

Away in a Manger

Hurray! My first 'manger' of the panto season in Devonshire Park's Jack and the Beanstalk programme:

"Assistant Stage Manger: Christine Hollinshead".

Curry in Favour

I love this story, and not just because it was a victory for the underdog against a notoriously litigious global corporation.

I love the fact that the owners won after claiming that the ‘Mc’ prefix of their name stood for ‘Malaysian Chicken’, despite the letter ‘c’ being lower case, and despite the fact that the typeface of the McCurry logo manages to resemble not just one but two famous high street logos.

Breaking news: I hear another well-known fast food chain has lost its lawsuit against an Israeli branch of Bagel King, which is famous for its Whopping bagel.

Actually, that’s not true, but wouldn’t it be great if it was?

Acid Attack

One of my bugbears is journalists who use the simile ‘on acid’ in their articles. It’s normally used in cultural reviews to describe a particularly ‘far out’ performer or piece of art, even though it's now considered both inaccurate and clichéd.

Such lazy journalism was skewered brilliantly by comedians Stewart Lee and Richard Herring in their series This Morning With Richard Not Judy, in a scene that purported to simulate the scene of veteran comedian Norman Wisdom ‘on acid’. This was in response to an Evening Standard reporter who had used (or quoted, the reporter later claimed) the phrase to describe the physical comedy stylings of Lee Evans. But instead of a slapstick, energetic, bug-eyed dynamo, the resultant scene saw an ill, confused old man wandering slowly around a room.

Just as bad as ‘on acid’ is ‘like so-and-so and so-and-so in a blender’ or ‘like such-and-such and such-and-such in a lift'. I’m not saying that there’s no room for similes in creative journalism any more; I’m just saying let’s create some new ones. Here’s some of my suggestions:

Like Stephen Hawkings on sugar-free Red Bull
Like Kerry Katona on chicken drumsticks
Like Brian Blessed on a noise abatement order
Like Michael Barrymore on television
Like Jennifer Lopez on the rebound
Like Peter Andre on fire
Like Rocket From the Crypt on a rope
Like Yoko Ono on a yoke.

Sub Standard # 1

I've spotted a dangling participle in Alan McGee's article in The Guardian - see the fourth paragraph:

"A Jersey native and only child of Italian immigrants, The Sopranos is based on both Chase's psychology and knowledge of Newark..."

The Dairy of a Proofreader

Hello and welcome to my new blog: a diary detailing my professional life as a proofreader. I’ve been a proofreader for just over a year now, working for a theatrical programme publisher, and even now I’m still learning the intricacies of the English language. Having said that, it still amazes me how much work comes through to me that contains the most elementary of errors.

Therefore, I thought it would be an intriguing idea to highlight some of the more striking and occasionally amusing mistakes and typos that arise in my job on an almost daily basis: the erroneous apostrophes, the dangling participles, the egregious misuse of the semi-colon and the way advertisers feel to need to Capitalise Every Single Word. I will also post links to bloopers on websites and online newspapers as I spot them, which just goes to show that even the professional writers and sub-editors in Fleet Street make mistakes.

Oh, and the eagle-eyed amongst you will have noticed the deliberate spelling mistake in the title of this entry. Well done, it should say diary - although I do enjoy the odd cold glass of milk and the idea of owning my own dairy is appealing...